sorting through some found favorites from spring time twenty thirteen...from growing flowers, hoppity easter babes, and best friend...
Sunday, October 4, 2015
Saturday, October 3, 2015
Father, now, i need you in this place...
i thought i had it all ready to write, it was all there, then i got here, and it all vanished
all i know is that it hurts when people are hurting
not only themselves but the others around them
i think we forget how much others care, which i understand, we don't openly show our affection which in return makes you not want to share what you really feel, afraid of their response or if they'll even understand.
i want to tell myself, if everything goes awry, please don't ever run away. i think the impact won't be too much on people, i can't think of anyone right off the bat who will find this profound, but i'm sure that is how my friends have felt too. now i find myself in loss, despair, wishing i knew, wishing i could help. oh God, You knew it all. there is nothing in my power that i could change, i do feel as if i could have tried harder. don't we all do that though? if only i did this, then this would have happened. i/we can't get too hard on ourselves because in reality that is not the case. truly truly this is all apart of God's big plan, and for that my trust is utterly unto Him, and Him alone.
nonetheless, it is ok to feel. feelings are inevitable and it feels perfectly fine to let them out, maybe to only a certain degree though. in feelings, wisdom needs to be forefront. that seems difficult to obtain. if we were to habitually practice seeking this wisdom, it wouldn't, the more so i pray to be prepared whilst walking through deep valleys. thank You Lord, for somewhat preparing my heart, though it may not feel like it whatsoever and no matter what all of it could subside, but overall i know i cannot be broken, as much as i feel i am.
may i act rightfully so, in accordance to these feelings, in prayer, for that's all i feel i can do at the moment.
this great joy too brings me to tears. whether joy or pain or brokenness or unbrokenness, Your presence is with me and for that i am forever thankful. oh God, my God, i only wish to express my utterances in a humbling matter, knowing in it all You are The One in control.
it's hard to bear, another close friend, go away, in pain, in hope for improvement. i know i will never know if that really is what is best for them, who am i to decide. it could be right for them and what God intended them for, as much as i have been hurt time and time again by this. everyone faces their problems different, the way i do could be in contrast to another, only God knows what's best.
so i just say in this time, that through it all, whether we choose to stay or to go in times of trouble, God, The Ultimatum, will be fully glorified. and in that glorification, under will we fall.
i thought i had it all ready to write, it was all there, then i got here, and it all vanished
all i know is that it hurts when people are hurting
not only themselves but the others around them
i think we forget how much others care, which i understand, we don't openly show our affection which in return makes you not want to share what you really feel, afraid of their response or if they'll even understand.
i want to tell myself, if everything goes awry, please don't ever run away. i think the impact won't be too much on people, i can't think of anyone right off the bat who will find this profound, but i'm sure that is how my friends have felt too. now i find myself in loss, despair, wishing i knew, wishing i could help. oh God, You knew it all. there is nothing in my power that i could change, i do feel as if i could have tried harder. don't we all do that though? if only i did this, then this would have happened. i/we can't get too hard on ourselves because in reality that is not the case. truly truly this is all apart of God's big plan, and for that my trust is utterly unto Him, and Him alone.
nonetheless, it is ok to feel. feelings are inevitable and it feels perfectly fine to let them out, maybe to only a certain degree though. in feelings, wisdom needs to be forefront. that seems difficult to obtain. if we were to habitually practice seeking this wisdom, it wouldn't, the more so i pray to be prepared whilst walking through deep valleys. thank You Lord, for somewhat preparing my heart, though it may not feel like it whatsoever and no matter what all of it could subside, but overall i know i cannot be broken, as much as i feel i am.
may i act rightfully so, in accordance to these feelings, in prayer, for that's all i feel i can do at the moment.
this great joy too brings me to tears. whether joy or pain or brokenness or unbrokenness, Your presence is with me and for that i am forever thankful. oh God, my God, i only wish to express my utterances in a humbling matter, knowing in it all You are The One in control.
it's hard to bear, another close friend, go away, in pain, in hope for improvement. i know i will never know if that really is what is best for them, who am i to decide. it could be right for them and what God intended them for, as much as i have been hurt time and time again by this. everyone faces their problems different, the way i do could be in contrast to another, only God knows what's best.
so i just say in this time, that through it all, whether we choose to stay or to go in times of trouble, God, The Ultimatum, will be fully glorified. and in that glorification, under will we fall.
Friday, October 2, 2015
playing around in the field of dreams: april 12, 2015
i drive past this field everyday, always wanting to stop and take photos, but it's on a main busy road with no where to park, so i put it off for some time. finally, one day, stella and i stop just in time. it wasn't golden hour yet but the field appeared that way anyways. truly, a field of dreams.
would you look at that little squishy face? ;)
not really sure, just messing around with light
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