i wrote this probably three-four years ago, but i recite it to myself daily, even saturday night i caught myself standing up in the middle of the night, reciting it aloud, as in my dream i was reading it... that scared me.

////////////////////////////////////

feet full of dust
all i want to do is breathe
all i want to do is be
sunken down in the earth
like a casket in a grave
i can get up
i can be saved
i know i will
be free from death
until then i am dust

i can't get up
i can't be freed
from the sin and misery
that bore The Only Forgotten One
who am i
to have won
He is freedom
He is The Son

oh Lord how i cling to You
oh Lord how i flee
how come every joy and pain
is so difficult to me
You're the one who beared it all
i'm the one who was to fall
take this selfish head off my shoulders
and fling it into the sea
drain my ears of lust and love
and open my eyes to be
taper my mouth so that my words
may be bountiful in Your ways
let all that i breath be renewed by all
Creator of the waves

to You i owe it all
to You all things belong
dust will i be forevermore
until the trumpets rung

January's Most Pleasurable Experience

// as i walked out one afternoon, the wind hit me like it never has before. not that it ever does, but this time the touch of the crisp breeze sent smiles down my spine. joy glistened on the dewy sidewalks and glory suffocated my lungs. i called two friends to come with me and indulge. the scent of citrus ignited our departure out into the highlands. we did not know how we were going, but only where we were going, to the mountain. each step we took was just another heart beat of this earth. though the darkness was present on the south side, where it tends to reside, light was coming forth, as the clouds labored away. we were not alone on this journey, for every bitter branch around sought out the heavens as well. the life surrounding us remained a little timid, so we walked mostly in silence, though a baby goat and a few geese acknowledged our presence. every now and then some dogs clamored, but we were not sure what for. new sights sparked my mind, but a couple of scenes appeared as if i was retracing a dream. the storm was harsh and continued thriving for a time, but in return the sun had shone more beautifully than ever before. we squared around the neighborhood in triumph of the defeat, and as we reached the end, our hearts were impacted. gifts we did not deserve, awareness we were not aware of began to grow in us.//

last month i enrolled in a creative writing class, our first prompt was to write about our most pleasurable experience of 2017. not much had happened yet this year, but the afternoon before i took one of the most pleasurable walks, exploring my new neighborhood. it was absolutely glorious. i need to start writing about all my life happenings this way, what fun & joy does it bring. who would have known this day turned out to be one ill remember forever, if i had never written about it?! everyday is beautiful, one way or the other...